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Empire's News Editor, host of The Empire Podcast and occasional Videblogisode Man. Tweets about Liverpool FC at - yes! - @ChrisHewittLFC. Instagram: ctah1976

635 Following   18,140 Followers   40,347 Tweets

Join Twitter 2/11/09

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@kerihw Don't do yourself down. #2, surely.@kerihw What if you don't even have a character name? Fat Man On Ferris Wheel isn't appealing. It's way worse than 'Keri'.
8/20
2014
The 10 Best Jokes At The Edinburgh Fringe That Only Work In Context http://t.co/fYq6ogMdax
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@ScottFilmCritic @Glinner Strikes me that we stay with Twitter despite Twitter's best efforts.Agh! Why do they keep trying to break their own shit? http://t.co/XF3KC21Dy6
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@ChrisHewitt As a Frost Giant I thought the #IceBucketChallenge would be fun. I was wrong http://t.co/ExMKpLhSm8
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@SummerRay @NickdeSemlyen #GREATMINDS@Galaxatron @SummerRay @NickdeSemlyen Ha!@SummerRay Ha! @NickdeSemlyen and I wrote a very similar gag into a script once, then took it out again. #greatmindsI admire the #IceBucketChallenge, I really do, but I'm worried about wasting all that ice. What are the penguins going to eat now?Best Ice Bucket Challenge yet😂 https://t.co/TFIRPM7S6I
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@NickdeSemlyen @LizzieBee2 Nick will never watch Corrie. He'd have to start from the beginning. Too much to binge watch, even for him.I don't see eye to eye with the Pope on many things but he's bang on about Goblins.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@chrismcquarrie @RealHughJackman You missed a spot.Okay @RealHughJackman Challenge: Accepted http://t.co/LzPjkb05dC
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@WillChich Satire is exhausting. I've got a headache just from reading that.One time I was in a 200 degree sauna in a Russian spa in NYC and poured ice water over my head and I thought I was gonna have a heart attack
Retweeted by Chris HewittSerial killers do the eyes bucket challenge.@GlennyRodge And they made me take off the Chewie costume.@markyboyace @SummerRay @UpturnedBathtub You sound like Vader at the end of Jedi. *Nerd points*@GlennyRodge I've been there too. Dark, damp, smells of cheese.@MooseAllain Aren't you worried about getting the book wet? I'm a little confused, sorry. I don't really do metaphors.Never go Full Botham.@idhunt FUCK! What about Amos?@ChrisHewitt Frankly disappointed that the cast and crew of Emmerdale are yet to respond. #gauntlet #spillwaterchallengeI NOMINATE TWIGGY, DES LYNAM AND GROOT.Excuse me, but I was promised a corporate cyberpunk dystopia and not this rerun-of-1960s-Bull-Connor-America dystopia
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@man_ders11 Never around for it. Same this weekend.I have never been to Frightfest. *sad face*@JohnnyHerbin Probably Calvary. And Guardians.@THEBRYANHITCH Damn straight. With a curly bit at the front.Did we REALLY live through an age where Superman had a mullet? According to comics on my shelf, yes. Chris Reeve would never have a mullet.
Retweeted by Chris HewittLove that film RT @Ethan_Anderton: Over at @thedissolve, MACGRUBER gets the recognition it deserves from @mattsinger: http://t.co/PF6sRimAxV
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@sicrook How lovely.Dracula to host blood bank summit RT @danroan: FIFA's Sepp Blatter to host first global sports ethics summit
Retweeted by Chris HewittSaying things backwards is my new maj.@trouteyes That's conk-bopping behaviour, that.@NickyRR I'm no expert, but it's best to poop your pants during the film, not before.Still waiting for James Cameron to take on the #spillwaterchallenge. The clock is ticking, Jimbo!@michaelhogan Never stop doing this.@NickyRR But there will always be another screening of The Guest...@SamsChannel @aliplumb @empiremagazine Actually, Ali doesn't exist. I play him and do all his voices.@NickyRR In situations like that, I always go for the thing that will not be repeated.@sicrook Crotchgrab. Accidental stabbing. Ebola.@NickyRR Routeplanner sits on a route of lies.@LukeWhiston Why are you looking at my bottom half?How did I fare with Nick de Semlyen's #spillwaterchallenge? FIND OUT! EXPLOSIVE VID! http://t.co/4XHEVItnRO@SamsChannel @empiremagazine @terrycrews Thank you - @AliPlumb deserves the credit also, although frankly we were just happy to listen.Written a film about an undead celebrity chef who woos single-mum cheerleaders by eating drums. It's a kenhompompomromzomnomnomtomtommomcom.
Retweeted by Chris HewittTonight is @ComicSansCancer. An exhibition at the @ProudArchivist raising money for cancer research using Comic Sans! Go and buy stuff!
Retweeted by Chris HewittI now nominate @ChrisHewitt to spill water on his desk. #spillwaterchallenge
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@LukeWhiston @sleezsisters Thunder Levin strikes again!@LukeWhiston @sleezsisters @BFI Remember being introduced to that via Moviedrome. Had to track Miracle Mile down on VHS. Glad I did.Great @BFI piece about end of the world movies, one of my favourite sub-genres. http://t.co/aqoMkTWNb5@garydbales Oh Christ, here comes Bales to trample all over delicate matters.Frankly amazed that #AskDinning hasn't been abused. There's still time, I guess. *whistles*@katbrown82 @Gary_Bainbridge I've only seen Fred Claus once, and I quite liked it. But not four star liked it. I'm not a monster.@Gary_Bainbridge @katbrown82 That's about the size of it. It was a stitch-up, guv.@katbrown82 @Gary_Bainbridge Bugger off, no fair. Also, that wasn't under Mark's editorship. But it WAS his fault. He made me do it.Casually making breakfast when inspiration struck for another retitling of EDGE OF TOMORROW. http://t.co/wJUqxmAqcJ
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@MrMichaelSpicer If you can just make a quick pop-up ad telling me where I can buy this 'help', then I'll be all over it.@MrMichaelSpicer I'm all like, 'where's the skip button... dammit... well, might as well watch it now... ooh, this is good... BUY IT!".I have to tweet this photo again in case anybody needs to learn about race in America, this is your team of experts: http://t.co/Ysgzvw17ud
Retweeted by Chris HewittDammit. Beefy's changed his password.Oh god…http://t.co/Lcm4FHPmbi
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt
8/19
2014
@LFCDaytrippers @dowie81 Would love to do it. Just tell me when and where.Haha Gary Busey in Big Brother? Hope he wigs out and thinks he's in that warehouse from Predator 2.
Retweeted by Chris HewittIs Botham's cock going in? #CBB
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt"Hi, I'm Chris," I said. "Audley," he probably said. And he might have shaken my hand in his mighty paw. Look, I wasn't taking any notes.The Audley Harrison chapter of my book is going to make for explosive reading.I met Audley Harrison at the 2001 Empire Awards. I don't remember anything he did or said. Come back soon for more #greatcelebrityanecdotes!@mrnickharvey Can you believe 40w went into the attic? How do you think it'll get on with 60w???!?!????7There's no 'I' in 'pedantic'. OH, I THINK YOU'LL FIND THERE IS.@PaulaJain Doc says it should clear up soon.@Eve_Barlow High five!@Eve_Barlow *thinks about making tedious Big Ben/Botham joke* *thinks better of it* *kinda does it anyway*@JCautomatic @mrnickharvey Yikes. Pretty much the entire third set of images on that search is me.@JCautomatic @mrnickharvey I want to know what the hell you typed into Google to get that image. No, I don't want to know. No, I do.@IncredibleSuit Will you settle for the same country?You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you return wearing a disguise. Though that often makes things even worse.
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@SummerRay I did mine, like, totally a year after the original pic.@IncredibleSuit Never say never again.@SummerRay I'm terrible with Photoshop or I'd do it for you. Luckily, Gregg Wallace is coming round later for a penising, so...Doctor: Where does it hurt? Me: *shows unanswered text*
Retweeted by Chris HewittNEW Chris Morris clip: CM responds to a viewers complaint about The Day Today (kindly supplied by @garyrodger) https://t.co/CAGCU0n4Zw
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@UpturnedBathtub I'm a classy guy. *eats banana willy*What are you thinking... xx http://t.co/2IxrO8Mej5@UpturnedBathtub @kerihw Those things are so yummy. I've eaten ten already today.The new issue of BLOODY AWFUL for women comes out this week. http://t.co/4fdDuNIKmx
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@JCautomatic @Jaynesharp My current timeline view: http://t.co/Vdbt7lUVqV
Retweeted by Chris HewittBC & @TheRealLukevans - you have 24 hours to respond. #IceBucketChallenge
Retweeted by Chris Hewitt@FolaHewitt PUT THAT BACK YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWERS YOU'RE DEALING WITH.@jamesfrowen Do I not like that?@Jrok23 Thanks. He's a legend, isn't he?Beginning to think I'll never be able to play cricket, or tweet a picture of my cock and balls, at the highest level.@garydbales Never could get into it. Merseyside Reds? GET OUT OF HERE.@Ward_17 Why, that's a very nice offer, thank you. Alas, I cannot attend. Do enjoy!@garydbales Pro Evo? GET OUT. #Fifatillidie #thevideogameobvs #nottheorganisation #BlatteroutLot of arguments about @empiremagazine's 100 Greatest Videogames Ever feature. I agree. Fifa 12 over Fifa 11? MADNESS! And where's Fifa 08?@joelmeadows1 Hi Joel - think we're sending someone out there, but thanks for the offer!
8/18
2014
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